"Being married is like having a colored television set, you never want to go back to black and white." -Danny Perasa
As a wedding photographer (I my self am not married), I have thought about sharing my thoughts on the subject of weddings many times but never have, I guess part of me wonders if it is something that I should be posting at all? It is not my intention to alienate anyone, which is of course my fear. I have written a post very similar before but never actually published it. But for better or worse here are my real thoughts on this whole wedding thing and why I don’t question what I do anymore.
As a girl, society tells us that we are expected to be excited about the perfect wedding, dress, shoes, rings etc. However, I have never dreamed about my “perfect wedding day.” This used to leave me wondering at times if I was meant to be in this industry? How can I be in a career where I don’t relate to entirely what is being sold? Am I a hypocrite?
Plain and simple I was a tomboy as a kid, I went creek stomping, hung from trees, played kickball & made up games named things like “dangerous journey” basically if there was an adventure to be had I wanted in on it. Growing up watching fairytale movies I didn’t relate to heroine's and their fancy dresses, in fact I hated dresses when I was really small. In my teens my ideal relationship went something like the line from Reality Bites “ this is all we need. . .couple of smokes, a cup of coffee. . .and a little bit of conversation.” not exactly fairly tale romance but it summed up what I was looking for and I suppose am still looking for (minus the cigarettes); and that is a real connection...I have always been a romantic in that sense. One guy I dated described the “connection” as an invisible wire connecting two brains… I swear this does exist, I have felt it and it is amazing when it happens. When I envision my wedding, I see a man that gets me and has an invisible wire connected to my head. Ha. ;) I guess it is my version of “the perfect wedding” it just doesn’t have to include a perfect ring, dress or shoes to be a perfect day. The wedding industry is a wacky thing and even though it used to make me question my job, the connection I see between my clients reminds me that it isn’t really about all the material items or whether they are there or are not, it is about marriage which I think gets overlooked or brushed aside sometimes. I am super super lucky to have such great clients; some of them truly take my breath away with how much love exudes from them. They have made me not question what I do anymore I now embrace it. On a regular basis I get to document two people in love giving their lives to each other while celebrating with friends and family. And I have to say that is pretty f’n inspiring to get to be around all the time, way better then a Disney movie. So to anyone who isn’t sure about this wedding thing; I am here to tell you not all brides are bridezilla’s (I’ve actually never had one) and that weddings can be a beautiful beautiful thing no matter how big or small. A special thanks to all of my clients, you guys are amazing, I thank you for allowing me to do what I do for a living and inspiring me in my own life and relationships.
And to leave you with a little wedding inspiration here is one of my favorite love stories. Just a warning if you are a crier it might make you cry. I am not but if I was I would be in tears.